November Newsletter

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Our mission is to inspire and educate. Follow our guidance and expand your knowledge to master the unspoken language of what isn't said to become an inspiring and impactful communicator.

WE HAVE SOME EXCITING NEWS! You will get to hear it first... so stay until the end for the announcement! 🥁

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Our Monthly Segment

Do you observe? Can you notice? What difference does it make?

INFLUENCE! Almost everyone wants to have it, but most don't know how to achieve it.

In my professional career, I have seen many individuals studying the art of influence and persuasion to become better at business, better at negotiations, better at sales, lead teams or even in one’s personal life.

Sometimes, even our jobs and bonuses are directly affected by our ability to influence someone, reach a sales quota, lead the company in a desired direction and successfully manage up.

Let’s look at how influence works:

Influence is not a bad thing when it is done from a genuine place and taking into account the desires of all parties. Actually, influence is something that happens organically - whether we want it or not we are influencing and being influenced! That is how we build communities, break barriers, fight for what's right, create, innovate, and raise children. After all, influence is what builds our communities, and we all belong to one and cannot live without one.

The problem is… most people focus on influencing the OTHER person first; they jump into the ACTION of influencing others and skip 3 other CRUCIAL steps that come before the act of influence.

To properly influence others, we must first learn and go through these 3 steps:

• Self-Awareness

• Self-Management

• Others’ Awareness

...and then we reach the 4th step: Others’ Management - Influence

Beware! If you are trying to jump through the stages right to stage 4, you are not doing a service for you nor to anybody else as you are influencing without awareness. Possibly, you are even leaving money on the table without being aware of it or sabotaging your ideal outcome without knowing why. Interesting, eh?

It is like going to the doctor and getting prescribed medication without him asking you a single question first. Yikes! 😱

How to do the influence right?

Stage 1, Self-Awareness: Do a self-audit of what is and what isn’t

First stage is to bring awareness to YOURSELF! Just like the doctor doing an audit of your health when they question and examine what it is that concerns you. In the nonverbal world it looks like this: Sit with yourself and write down the observations on your own self, your cultural beliefs, style of communication, thoughts that are floating in your head, your style of walking, way of sitting, what gestures you usually show, and so on.

Also, what are the channels of communication you are naturally drawn to observe when speaking with other people? Is it their face, voice, spoken words, or anything else? All in all, bring your awareness to yourself to notice these personal nuances.

Moving on to stage 2, Self-Management: Consciously adjust

Only when you learn to manage yourself can you consciously change, for example: sitting in an open body position when speaking about something that feels hard for you and naturally your hands want to cross. Can you walk with your head up? Can you change the tone of your voice to match the other? What can you do with your channels of communications to adjust?

How can you show up differently with your body to either be the person you wish to be/show up as OR show up in a way that adjusts to the context and the environment OR show up to match and to connect with the person in front of you?

To put it in a nutshell: when you can control yourself, only then you can manage any situation that may come your way. And that is - TRUE POWER!

Now, let’s take a look at the final two stages:

Stage 3, Awareness Of Others: Audit of the environment and the individual

Similar to stage 1 when we did an audit on ourselves, now we are doing an audit of the expected attendees and the environment before the event (while preparing for a board meeting or a presentation, as an example).

What space and environment will the meeting take place in? Who are the people attending? Where will each of them be seated? What cultures are they from? What may impact them to do or not to do something?

Another gift this audit carries: by understanding the people and the environment, you will be more curious, empathetic, understanding as well as more aware of them and their needs.

The final stage 4, Managing Others: Influence

To be honest, I truly believe that if we do the other 3 stages above, we don't even need to master this stage - unless we are working in interrogation or in other high-stakes environments or jobs.

While working with business owners and sales teams, I have seen this repeatedly: their numbers grow tremendously by just changing the first 3 steps!

Having said that, learning influence is very complex, but I have some tips for you:

• Listen to all the channels of communication and not just to the words

• Pay attention to how can you mirror the individual to meet them where they are at

• Watch the nonverbal cues that people have hard time managing, such at feet positioning

• Remove physical barriers when speaking

• Centre yourself with the individual in power

In our workshops, we teach what different nonverbal cues mean and how we can use them to better connect and have more meaningful business outcomes. If you’re curious, let me know and I will share more info about what topics we cover and how businesses benefit from acquiring those skills!

NOW you understand! WHY it's critical to understand that if you really want to influence others, it must start with yourself - because to become a great leader, you first need to learn how to lead yourself.

Tomorrow, take a look at how you can start to SELF-INFLUENCE, and the rest will follow. I promise.

Let us know! Do you notice if and when you tried to read others to influence them? Share with us by replying back to this email.

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The long wait is finally over - "Communication Secrets" Podcast is here!

You have asked! You waited! We worked hard on it and we Delivered! 🤩 🎉

Great Communicators Are Made, Not Born! - Doris Kearns Goodwin (prize-winning historian)

Communication Secrets is a business, leadership and communication podcast.

On this podcast, we will take you into the secret world of what great communication is all about, breaking some myths, as well as providing techniques for you to become a successful and inspiring communicator.

YOU'RE FIRST TO HEAR! 🥁 COMMUNICATION SECRETS PODCAST is going live on THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 24th! Join me and Dr.Irvine Nugent in a conversation about leadership and nonverbal communication.

In the meantime, check out our intro episode where we discuss why communication is a crucial key for business success, and what is the mission of the Communication Secrets Podcast.

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